In Defense of Dining Alone

For some reason, I am in the minority when it comes to solo dining. Most find it awkward and avoid it like the plague, walking blocks in adverse weather carrying take out or eating spoonfuls of peanut butter instead of sitting alone in a restaurant.

And while I do believe many a meal, even the worst, can come out smelling like roses with the right company, sometimes I find that company to be only an empty chair. And since I've started working the regular 9-5 and the last person I really related to on a social level left, I've taken the occasional lunch out even more frequently. Because there's only so many work lunches I can take (Though I am definitely not one of those 'just learn how to cook' zealots, who has that kind of time?).

Granted, I should put this up front before I start getting into the zen of eating. I am not, nor have I ever really been, a very socially outgoing person. I am a common mix of being an introvert and shy. I can get lost in my thoughts. I was one of those people who sat by the windows between classes, pretending to study but just watched the people go by. It's actually one of my favorite hobbies (voyeuristic stereotypes be damned). I'm also closely guarded about certain things. And, in all honesty, I'm kind of an asshole. Which helps keep people a certain distance. It's also why I'm kind of a 'shitty friend,' at least to those who 'know' me.

So all that being said, I still think everyone should, at least occasionally, eat out by themselves. It's a specific experience that you cannot otherwise get. For one, while no one ever really calls me on it, I hate the fact that I am a slow eater. One of the slowest, if not the, in my group friends. So I awkwardly sometimes concentrate on chewing and swallowing, just so everyone else isn't just sitting there staring at my half eaten burger while they're flagging for the check. And the converse is true too, I've heard fast eaters feel quite self-conscious about it, when eating speeds are just completely out of sync. So there's a point for dining alone.

Related, I think it's easier to enjoy or explore the food without either the aforementioned worry of social conventions in eating rate, but also just sometimes savoring flavors. It's sometimes seen as awkward for groups of people to eat in silence. It's seen as perfectly normal for one guy to eat in silence (in fact, if he were talking, that'd probably be the most awkward situation, at least for the waitstaff).

But there is a certain tranquility in being able to enjoy a meal completely in your control and power. And that can be calming in an otherwise hectic and entropic life.

I usually also get to indulge in my people watching, and if not, I usually get a few good chapters read in my latest book.

Although it never really affects me, some people change their orders from what they truly want when in the company of others.

You may absolutely hate it, some say they just feel self-conscious. But if you can get through that, it may just bring a peace of mind.